went to the Doctor yesterday.

My Doctor is cute. I know medical school and college and years of study have been involved, but this woman looks like she just got off the school bus. I have a little crush on her.

But the reason I am posting this is that I am having to eat healthily again.

sigh.

responsibility tastes like a hamburger/no bun.

but this weekend there will be more veggies and better cuts of meat.

gotta get that blood sugar DOWN.

if I ever see Russell T. Davies on the street I am going to kick his ass.

So I don't remember if I posted about the NEW Star Trek movie when it came out. I bought the DVD and I have watched it a few times and I still freaking love it.

I love the fact that Kirk and Spock and the gang are young again and the Federation is young again swashes are buckled and sly looks are exchanged and Scotty is all "I'm givin' her all I got" and Chekov is all "I'm Russian, dudes" and Sulu is all "I'm driving the HELL out of this ship, yo."

And nobody has to wear a gurdle.

It makes me feel like I am 14 years old and watching TOS on a friday night.

And when something makes you feel 40 years younger, that is a good thing.

I want Abrams to come back in 10 years and reboot The Next Generation. Maybe they can have Wesley Crusher time travel in this one.

what a fucked up, horrible year. I gotta get a job in 2010.

happy new year fellow babies.

Since the GF is working today (for The World's Largest Airline) to keep the skies full of pissed off people, we had Christmas yesterday.

It was one of those days when you get to see a parent burst with pride over something their child does.

Very neat and sweet.

My food was a hit, and the dinner was great.

"God bless us every one."

Today I am having the Chief's Scalloped Oysters and my second last filet. Small consolation for knowing the girl is in her little office putting up with a-holes.

Merry Christmas fellow babies.

You know, It has become popular for people to post things like "Merry Christmas to those who celebrate the Holiday. This in no way is an attempt to impose my beliefs on you."

Well, OK.

But I am just going to say "Merry Christmas".

If you hate Christmas I am sorry for you. It is a wonderful little holiday that celebrates a great guy who had some dynamite ideas. We celebrate this guy's birth by giving each other presents, killing trees, baking cookies, listening to corny music and watching bad movies.

If you don't celebrate the holiday, enjoy the cookies.

OK, so you might remember the saga of the sausage balls (SFW; it's food, not the title of some strange porno). Today I made POTATO LATKES or EXCELLENT REASONS TO EAT APPLESAUCE AND/OR SOUR CREAM.

Hit another home run, if I do say so myself. c'mon. it's potatoes, onions and hot oil. How far wrong could you go? The will also be nuked tomorrow and served as appetizers. I am a wonderful guest. Plus, it reminds me of the Chief. She was always cooking at Christmas. And today is the anniversary of her birth. 12-23-24.

Now, I nap. Because grating potatoes is hard work. Well, tedious anyway.

I swear to god, why do the most simple recipes ALWAYS kick my ass?

I wanted to make something for the big Xmas dinner the GF is having and since nobody likes oysters, scalloped or otherwise I decided sausage balls looked like a great idea. So I got a Paula Deen recipe, seemed simple. THREE ingredients. All I needed was a trip to the grocery.

Decided on today as d-day. I'd fix 'em and freeze 'em until thursday (the GF has to work on Xmas so America can FLY).

here's the rundown:

1 lb chub of sausage
3 cups bisquick
4 cups shreaded cheddar cheese.

Throw it all in a bowl and mix that all together by hand. MIX THAT ALL TOGETHER. BY HAND. Now I am not squeamish, I make a HELL of a meatloaf; that is NOT the problem.

After the first ten minutes of mixing I began to think old Paula had put this recipe on the internet as a joke. I could hear her southern chuckle. "I bet some poor yankee is trying to mix these three incompatible, dry ingredients together. His hands are gonna fall off!".

The sausage did not want to mix with the cheese and neither one wanted any part of the bisquick.

Finally, after about a half an hour of this, I realized the bisquick was GONE. I looked around on the counter and the floor, but no, it seems like the sausage had begun to mix with the dry ingredients. SOME of the cheese was joining with the pork, also. After that, I was home free; forming the balls was merely tedious.

Currently they are making a nice smell, and I am going to make a nice remulade sauce for to dip them in.

UPDATE: ugly, but tasty. They are kind of sausage flying saucers instead of balls. The sauce may need to be re-done. it's kind of not what I was looking for...

from SNL, 12-11-76:

Let's Kill Gary Gilmore for Christmas

[Candice Bergen stands before the well-trimmed Christmas tree at home base and addresses the camera.]

Candice Bergen: One night this July, Gary Gilmore killed a Utah service station attendant and the next night he shot a twenty-five year old student twice in the head. He was convicted of the second murder and sentenced to death. Gilmore requested that the sentence be carried out by firing squad. Prison officials were flooded with calls with people volunteering to shoot Gilmore, a job which pays a hundred and twenty-five dollars. Gilmore's lawyer is negotiating with publishers and motion picture studios for book and movie rights and there has been a cry for public execution. [holds up a New York Post with a large front page headline: The Gilmore Ruling: KILL HIM] All three networks have asked permission to film the event and, if permission is not granted, then there's talk of filming the execution, from a dirigible, helicopter or hang glider. And so it's in this spirit that Saturday Night has prepared a very special Christmas song.

[As the music begins, we dissolve to the giant Christmas tree at Rockefeller Center and then to a close-up of Gilda Radner, her hair and face pelted with artificial snow, as she sings:]

Gilda Radner:
There's a little guy in Utah with a single Christmas wish For one special thing that can't be substituted Doesn't want to get electric trains, get toys or get pet fish All he really wants to get is executed

[Dissolve wide to take in the rest of the cast, dressed in holiday sweaters amid falling snow, women in the front row, men in back. Everyone sings:]

Cast:
So let's kill Gary Gilmore for Christmas
Let's hang him from atop the Christmas tree
Let's give to him the only gift that money can't buy
Put poison in his egg nog, let him drink it, watch him die

[Dan Aykroyd talks while the others hum softly:]

Dan Aykroyd:
Let's throw another yule log on the fire
And then let's throw Gary Gilmore on there too
With a ribbon so gay and a card that will say
"Dear Gary, Merry Christmas to you"

Jane, Laraine, Gilda:
In the meadow, we can build a snowman
One with Gary Gilmore packed inside

John, Garrett, Dan:
We'll say "Are you dead yet?" He'll say "No, man"

Cast:
But we'll wait out the frostbite till he dies

Gilda:
I've one Christmas wish

Jane, Laraine, John, Garrett, Dan:
Just ask it

Gilda:
Please put Gary in a casket

Cast:
So let's toll the silver bells for him
While he can still hear what they say
Ding dong ding dong
You're dead, so long
We can thrill Gary Gilmore
If we kill Gary Gilmore
On this Christmas Day

[Dissolve back to the Rockefeller Center Christmas tree.]

Now THAT'S funny!

gee. the Christmas depression has set in early this year...

My GF's Daddie used to say, "Believe and you will receive. Doubt and you do without."


amen AGAIN.

Gotta love Paulie Perrette. She ended an interview with these quotes:

"Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere" - MLK Jr

"Do not be overcome by evil, But overcome evil with good" - Romans 12:21

amen.

Just got back from the Dollar Tree (where everything is $1!). Finished up my xmas shopping. except for one thing for the GF. So far.

She's OK though. She understands I am broke.

Mostly.

Anyway, yeah, the Dollar Tree (where everything is $1!). Depressing as hell.

Thank you, come again.

http://www.amazon.com/gp/registry/wishlist/2P1BVUE0GC46P

even if you aren't inclined to give, check it out. I have some strange stuff on there.

I used to love sitcoms. I mean from the earliest "I Love Lucy" episodes I was a fan. And lets face it, there were a LOT of great half hour comedies to watch.

About ten years ago the form dried up. It was like "Saturday Night Live" I thought. I have outgrown the form.

I really think "Dharma and Greg" killed that little place in my soul where sitcom love lived. And that my friends is where the irony comes into my story.

I now watch TWO sitcoms on a regular basis. The first is "How I Met Your Mother". Great cast, very funny running bits, and very smart. The second is funny to the point of GENIUS. "The Big Bang Theory" is a truly amazing piece of work. Well built characters, a completely grounded writing staff, great actors and IRONICALLY PRODUCED BY THE SAME MAN WHO KILLED THAT PLACE IN MY SOUL WHERE SITCOM LOVE LIVED.

Yes, Chuck Lorre.

He has restored my faith in the sitcom. Now granted, he still must be made to pay for "Two and A Half Men" but everybody has to have a job, right?

Bazinga.

Created by Auto Insurance.org

AND PASSED WITH AN ABOVE AVERAGE SCORE. B

the Tree 2009
Originally uploaded by skrapsmijusa

In this shit storm of a year I have one thing to be thankful for.

My friends. You guys are the best. Thank you for your loyalty and love.

And, if you feel bad about how we ex-europeans screwed the natives here in north america, good for you for having a conscience.

However, this is STILL a day to give thanks.

Perhaps you can give thanks to whoever came up with the concept of Reservation gambling. Remember, through this amazing invention Indians are taking the country back one gambling addict at a time.

Love ya kids.