the Tree 2009
Originally uploaded by skrapsmijusa

In this shit storm of a year I have one thing to be thankful for.

My friends. You guys are the best. Thank you for your loyalty and love.

And, if you feel bad about how we ex-europeans screwed the natives here in north america, good for you for having a conscience.

However, this is STILL a day to give thanks.

Perhaps you can give thanks to whoever came up with the concept of Reservation gambling. Remember, through this amazing invention Indians are taking the country back one gambling addict at a time.

Love ya kids.

the other day a knock came at my door.

"Who could it be?" I thought to myself. Could it be the postman with a package of goodness for the GF's birthday? Could it be the Jehova's witnesses? Could it be...MEAT?

A few days ago (gosh, like ten days?) the local SWAN's driver stopped by with a delicious sounding tale of excess inventory. Alas, he arrived during rent week, and I was unable to partake in the bounty of his freezer truck. But thursday was my lucky day.

It was MORE MEAT!

The sad story was, even though I had cash in the bank it wasn't enough to purchase a case of meat, even at HALF PRICE. I prepared to close the door and my new friend Charles the Meat Man said "I have some loose packages. I can give you a box of FILET MIGNON for $20."

"Sold!" I replied.

So I am now the proud owner of eight bacon wrapped little pieces of heaven. Well, as of now, seven.

These are fine pieces of cow, folks. I browned it in a skillet and finished it in a 400 degree oven for ten minutes and it was freaking AMAZING. I ate the steak and the baked potato and the cats ate the bacon.

Back in the old days, hobos used to mark houses that were good for a handout. Hopefully, meat salesmen have marked my house, because DAMN.

Avacados were on sale today so I decided to make guacamole. Is there anything in the world messier than making guacamole? Or rather, peeling and seeding ripe avacados?

And how the hell did it get to be the middle of NOVEMBER???

Philadelphia Cream Cheese Spinach and Artichoke flavor and Wheat Thins Crackers FTW, kids.

But that is not why I called you together. I am a better cook now than I was when I was oh, say ten years old.

Back then, my specialty of the house was a "sloppy joe" concoction that well, I'll reproduce the recipe:

Brown 1 LB ground beef.

Add ketchup, mustard and relish until the ground beef sticks together. Simmer.

Eat for lunch, and serve balance to mother who will eat it because someone else cooked.

Pepto Bismal for desert (for her)


Anyway, now I make decent food. I am no gourmet chef, but I do OK.


Today when I went to the store I got a can of chicken noodle soup because I have had a naggy cough for a couple of weeks and I thought "chicken soup! What can it hurt?"

Well apparently, I still make condensed soup the same way I did when I was ten. Ie: Pan, soup, can of water, heat on HIGH, go do something else until soup becomes MEGA BOILING HOT.

In the intervening years, I have forgotten how to eat soup prepared that way which is: "crumble a million crackers into the soup; sip carefully from spoon."

Ouch.

But anyway. Yeah. Chicken soup for the shirt. Make a nice series of semi-books.

And now, the soup is at an edible temperature.

The year from hell continues, kids.

Last night, I had a bout of SVT (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Supraventricular_tachycardia). This is a very scary rapid heart beat that freaks you the fuck out, let me tell ya.

I debated for a few minutes about calling 911 (I was on the phone with the GF and it freaked her out, too) but decided to call them, despite my lack of insurance.

The nice 911 dispatcher asked me a series of questions and then told me (among other things) don't eat or drink anything, unlock your door, turn on your porchlight and if you have pets close them up and relax. Relax AND close up the pets? Oh RLY? You obviously do NOT have cats, lady.

So I changed into clean clothes, unlocked the front door and tried to relax.

The paramedics got there is a couple of minutes, examined me, carted me to the ambulance and gave me a nice shot of Adenosine.

I immediately felt better.

At the ER, the redid everything the paramedics did, took a quart of blood and the GF and I (who made it there in record time) proceeded to wait. FOR FOUR AND A HALF HOURS. This time was to enable them to make sure my heart enzymes were OK.

They were, and they released me, and everything is fine.

And today, the GF bugged me until I made an appointment at a clinic that doesn't care that I don't have insurance. My appointment is Dec. 22.

And people wonder why we need health reform...

final bill on the car: $157.

so, yeah. I am about 40 bucks short.

Good news: Car problem is relatively minor. 150-175 dollars.


Bad news: I have $123 in the bank. uh-oh...

Food note: Hebrew National hot dogs are the BOMB if you like hot dogs.

Great texture, lightly spiced, and all BEEF. No fillers. They answer to a HIGHER power.

A little pricey, but worth it.

more car trouble. but it MIGHT be the same car trouble. It seems to be coolant system related.

I will keep you posted.

When you are unemployed, you watch a lot of TV. I spotted the "kid in the runaway balloon" story first and called the GF.

My GF, whose expertise in flight consists of selling airplane tickets and being a passenger said when she saw the balloon, "there's no kid in that. he's hiding at home."

I also have to mention she was (at about the age of six) the subject of a frantic search. She was sleeping in the closet.

My doll is a genius.

got up early (before six) to fool around with FIBER OPTIC HIGH SPEED INTERNET.

Yes, I am a sick unit.

but, not dialup = WIN.

OK, now post lots of videos and songs!

High speed: achieved.

And it only took

SEVEN AND ONE HALF FREAKING HOURS.

yep. what with having to replace some damn piece that it took him two hours to go and get, I now have freaking high speed internet.

WOO TO THE FUCKING HOO.

Tomorrow.

WELCOME TO THE FUTURE!

Sometime between 8 AM and 12 PM I will be hooked up to fiber optic high speed internet and cable.

For the same price I am paying for basic able phone and dial up internet now.

yay me. I will spend the next several days looking at stuff you can't look at on dial up.


see you all sometime next week. ;)

OK, so remember the Chicken & Cheese Enchiladas with Salsa Verde I made on saturday and was too exhausted to eat? I just had them for lunch and damn, I am one helluva cook.

I think next time I am going to buy cooked chicken and make the salsa ahead instead of trying to do it all in one day. I am such a wimp of a cook...

Man.

Often the women I am acquainted with lament that they are turning into their mothers. Imagine being a man and turning into your mother.

With my GF out of town this weekend I decided to take some of my free time and make a delicious mexican meal. So I found a recipe for Chicken and Cheese Enchiladas with Salsa Verde (http://bit.ly/idd8z) and went for it.

It's a fairly simple recipe and smelled delicious.

But I could not eat any. Oh, I had one enchilada. But that was all I could eat. It was the Chief at thanksgiving all over again. Every year she would spend hours fixing the feast and take about three bites when it was time to eat. I used to think it was a kind of passive aggressive guilt trip kind of thing, but now I know. It's merely cooking fatigue.

I am hoping that I will get hungry later (the Chief was a monster on leftovers. we had thanksgiving dinner for three days sometimes)).

Meanwhile, I smell like cilantro and I cut my finger.

Hi,

I just signed a petition to Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid to stop protecting corporate Democrats who are willing to filibuster a public health insurance option.

Can you please add your name?

Click here to sign: http://action.firedoglake.com/harryreid

Well, two thirds of this unemployment check went toward a new water pump for the hooptie. Yay?

I think I may start running ads on here, but just for stuff I like, you know, like pizza, beer and bosoms.

The BEST thing about Obama? He pisses the republicans off more than Clinton.

Oh, crap. I have to go to the unemployment office this week. That sucks the life out of you, let me tell ya.

well this just proves how far out of the loop I am...I totally missed "Talk like a pirate day".



this sucks.

I wonder if has-been entertainers turn to Jesus to remain in the limelight, or if religious broadcasters seek them out in the weird hope that having Tony Orlando on your show gives God more credence?

I have GOT to block EWTN from my cable...